Testimony
![Picture](/uploads/2/1/4/4/21449656/5301248.png?107)
It's been pretty hard for me before now. To be a Christian, I mean. At this age, you just wanna have fun, you know? The Internet, lust, wanting to fit in; it all just contributed to me straying away from God.
Even though something was telling me it was wrong, I kind of just blocked it away from my mind. I kept sinning, until my conscience was almost completely dead.
And for me, thinking about that now, that's pretty scary. I remember this time, I had thought that if I sinned, God would not judge me. I'm not exactly sure where that thought came from, or what led to that thought. But what I do remember was that I immediately shoved that thought away from my mind. I quickly remembered how my mom had always taught me that God was not partial. It was that day I knew I was really deep in sin. I don't remember what I did after that realization. But I know that day marked a difference in my relationship with God.
After some time, I came to listen to the voice and repented. But after repenting, I kept going back to the world. It was really frustrating, because I knew what I was doing was wrong. I kept starting the week with the goal of not sinning for a whole week, but I would end up devastated. It just made me question if God would really forgive me, considering how many times I kept sinning.
It wasn't until Precious showed me this testimony of a woman that got saved. It really amazed me, because she had been so deep in sin. But, the moment she got saved, she willingly left all her sins away. She left her friends that were still in sin, and refused to go back. It really amazed me.
That day, I prayed to God and told Him that I would not leave Him again. I prayed for His Grace to guide me no matter what obstacles I may face. It was a refreshing day, and I felt truly blessed. However, that was not the end.
I kept doubting God had forgiven me, and the devil used that as a tool. At least once everyday, I would be reminded, and I would start to doubt my faith. After doubt, came sin. I started to sin again. Before I knew it, I was almost completely back to my old ways. I was disappointed in myself, and I could feel this daunting feeling. It was then I knew God had also disapproved.
That night, I thought about it, and realized it wasn't worth it. In the past years, sin had only brought me confusion and all sorts of unwanted things. That night, I just cried out my feelings to God. I didn't bother with trying to make it fancy. I was just so frustrated with how sin had changed me as a person. I prayed for God to truly forgive me. I told Him to just take my life and use it for His glory. I didn't want any part of this world anymore. I tried my hardest not to cry, because I didn't want my experience to be oh-so-dramatic. I thank God, because I believe He has forgiven me.
Now, I can really say I'm saved.
I'm not sure if my testimony would be considered flashy or dramatic, but becoming saved truly changed me.
Even though something was telling me it was wrong, I kind of just blocked it away from my mind. I kept sinning, until my conscience was almost completely dead.
And for me, thinking about that now, that's pretty scary. I remember this time, I had thought that if I sinned, God would not judge me. I'm not exactly sure where that thought came from, or what led to that thought. But what I do remember was that I immediately shoved that thought away from my mind. I quickly remembered how my mom had always taught me that God was not partial. It was that day I knew I was really deep in sin. I don't remember what I did after that realization. But I know that day marked a difference in my relationship with God.
After some time, I came to listen to the voice and repented. But after repenting, I kept going back to the world. It was really frustrating, because I knew what I was doing was wrong. I kept starting the week with the goal of not sinning for a whole week, but I would end up devastated. It just made me question if God would really forgive me, considering how many times I kept sinning.
It wasn't until Precious showed me this testimony of a woman that got saved. It really amazed me, because she had been so deep in sin. But, the moment she got saved, she willingly left all her sins away. She left her friends that were still in sin, and refused to go back. It really amazed me.
That day, I prayed to God and told Him that I would not leave Him again. I prayed for His Grace to guide me no matter what obstacles I may face. It was a refreshing day, and I felt truly blessed. However, that was not the end.
I kept doubting God had forgiven me, and the devil used that as a tool. At least once everyday, I would be reminded, and I would start to doubt my faith. After doubt, came sin. I started to sin again. Before I knew it, I was almost completely back to my old ways. I was disappointed in myself, and I could feel this daunting feeling. It was then I knew God had also disapproved.
That night, I thought about it, and realized it wasn't worth it. In the past years, sin had only brought me confusion and all sorts of unwanted things. That night, I just cried out my feelings to God. I didn't bother with trying to make it fancy. I was just so frustrated with how sin had changed me as a person. I prayed for God to truly forgive me. I told Him to just take my life and use it for His glory. I didn't want any part of this world anymore. I tried my hardest not to cry, because I didn't want my experience to be oh-so-dramatic. I thank God, because I believe He has forgiven me.
Now, I can really say I'm saved.
I'm not sure if my testimony would be considered flashy or dramatic, but becoming saved truly changed me.